At It Begins Within- Developing Leaders, we understand that it's often what's going on inside of us, what counselors call psychological barriers that keep us from reaching our full potential. No matter how hard we try, unless we recognize and address these barriers, our success and growth will be capped. One of these barriers comes from the self-limiting labels we place on ourselves.

For example, we might label ourselves by believing or even saying, “I'm not a good listener”, communicating that we will never be able to listen well because that's just not who we are. Or we might say, “I'm so impatient”, believing that becoming a patient person is out of our reach. Studies show that these self-limiting labels can have a tremendous impact on our lives.

In a study called Identity-Based Motivation by Osserman and Destin, researchers discovered that unhealthy labels can do three destructive things in our lives. First, they can limit our ability to make appropriate changes. Second, they can encourage us to continue unhealthy behaviors that reinforce our own self-limiting labels. Third, they can ultimately block our ability to grow.

So what can we do if we're unwilling to remain captives to our self-limiting labels? We can release them and replace them. For example, we can release the belief, “I'm just not a good listener”, and replace it with a healthy and true statement, “I can focus on the person I am speaking with, giving them my full attention.” We can release the belief, “I'm so impatient”, and replace it with, “I can choose to act in patient ways.”

Embracing these true statements can give us the courage and strength to behave in ways that reflect healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others. It's true that we may never become the best listener or the most patient person we know, but we can grow and become a more effective leader and learn how to build stronger relationships.

Because as we all know, It Begins Within.